Kyle XY Quotes

Free To Be You And Me
Amanda Bloom: These are for you.
Kyle: Why?
Amanda Bloom: Well let's see a piano mysteriously showed up in my living room last night. When I asked my mom how it got there she rolled her eyes in annoyance.
Kyle: She did.
Amanda Bloom: The only person who could annoy her like that is you. Ergo flowers.
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Kyle: Hey.
Lori Trager: Hey mood swing. What's go you all peppy?
Kyle: I'm going to the dance with Amanda.
Lori Trager: You have a date with Amanda?
Kyle: No. It's not a date.
Lori Trager: How do you know?
Kyle: She said she's doing me a favor.
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Amanda Bloom: Are you okay?
Kyle: Not really.
Amanda Bloom: Kyle it's okay if you don't want to go to the dance with me. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable by asking you.
Kyle: I do want to go to the dance with you.
Amanda Bloom: Then, why are you acting so weird?
Kyle: Nichole says it's because I like you.
Amanda Bloom: You do?
Kyle: Of course. Don't you like me?
Amanda Bloom: Yeah, I like you. So we're going to the dance together and you're okay with it? Kyle: It's the best thing that's happened to me in a long time.
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Charlie Tanner: Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and boys. Thank you for coming out, literally, to this very gay event and by gay, I don't mean happy. I mean oh so very homosexual.
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Charlie Tanner: When did you two ladies jump on the lesbian granola bus?
Lori Trager: I don't know, Hils. Want to give it a try?
Hillary: I've always wanted to be a granola lesbian. [Lori and Hillary kiss]
Lori Trager: If only to never kiss homophobic cheating jerks like yourself ever again.

Ghost In The Machine
Andy Jensen: Too bad they don't have merit badges for playing porno video games. You'd be an eagle scout by now.
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Kyle: I kissed Amanda.
Declan McDonough: I knew it. You had this weird morning-after vibe.
Kyle: I just can't figure out if we...
Amanda: ...are a couple or not.
Lori Trager: What you need is the kiss test. The first kiss is for romantic-comedy endings.
Lori Trager: The second kiss is what defines the relationship.
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Kyle: I went back in and risked my life to get something I didn't get anyway. I could have died down there. I could have lost everything. I could have lost you.


Lockdown
Hillary: I try learn from Phill and Oprah, but everything comes out Springer.
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Amanda Bloom: Sorry, I compared you to Charlie.
Kyle: I should be the one apologizing.
Amanda Bloom: It's just what I saw...
Kyle: Was confusing. I know. But I promise you nothing physical was going on. I wouldn't lie to you.
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Andy Jensen: You're acting weird.
Josh Trager: I'm on top of you making out. What's weird about that?
Andy Jensen: You're being hesitant. Guys aren't supposed to do hesitant.
Josh Trager: I'm not being hesitant. [Andy and Josh start making out again]
Andy Jensen: Totally hesitant.
Josh Trager: Would you stop using that word?
Andy Jensen: I'm sorry. But it's true. Any other guy would have his hand half way to the promised land by now.
Josh Trager: I'm trying to be respectful.
Andy Jensen: No. Respect is the slow inching, waiting for me to swat your hand away. Respect is at least trying to go there. Unless you...
Josh Trager: Unless I what?
Andy Jensen: Unless you've never gone there before.
Josh Trager: Ugh...
Andy Jensen: Oh my god! You've never touched a boob before.
Josh Trager: I've touched a boob before.
Andy Jensen: A real one? Or one of those inflatable ones?
Josh Trager: I've touched a boob before, okay? Just never one that...
Andy Jensen: Never one that what?
Josh Trager: Never one that mattered.
Andy Jensen: My boobs matter?
Josh Trager: Of course they matter. Why else would I put up with this humiliation?

First Cut Is The Deepest
Hillary: I'm Hillary and I'm in a bar fight!